I still have a blog?

In the largest "To Catch A Predator" ever announced, Pope Benedict XVI invites 400,000+ Catholic priests to The Vatican to "rally."

Oddly enough, "Islamofascism" may actually be a completely accurate term.

In a move that can only be met with calm and rational debate, Belgium lawmakers consider public ban on face covering burqas.

10 things the internet has ruined. Productivity conspicuously missing from list.

Military completing test of airships they believe will give them a decisive advantage in future conflicts. This can only end well.

FedEx: When you absolutely, positively, must get your dolphins there overnight.

Are you happy, sex abuse victims? You've ruined the pope's birthday.

German troops in Afghanistan call on Angela Merkel to explain why they're at war. The one damn major war the Germans fought in the past 100 years, THIS is the one they dissagreed with?

Notes on Texas and more.

I've been out of Fort Jackson (but not in my unit) for a little while, but now have met with my actual unit and came back home for a little while to move our stuff to the scenic town of Fort Hood, TX. Some things I've learned about Texas: It is apparently state law to put a gate out front of your home or business. Everyone is either rich or poor, and the rich have even worse looking houses than the poor. If you want to see where people go when they officially fail in life itself, take a look around the Dallas Greyhound bus station at about 3 in the morning. I'll be around till probably a couple days into next week. In the meanwhile: Upside: you're living in the second most affordable city in the nation. Downside: it's Detroit

Let's throw a "ghetto-themed" Black History party on campus. What could possibly go wrong?

"After about a year, the white worms dig through the body towards the skin, releasing chemicals to burn the flesh and then spewing thousands of larvae as they exit"

The Castleford Area Voice for the Elderly has been successful at preventing the politically correct renaming of a Victorian landmark . "I feel we should never alter names, and Tickle Cock has a very clear message behind it"

The 10 worst best picture Oscar winners of all time... Hey... Forrest Gump is a classic, dammit.

Taliban fighters running out of ammo, despite all the bullets and bombs being sent their way

"Operation: Iraqi Freedom" to become "Operation: New Dawn", be even tougher on hard grease

List of America's most miserable cities is in and... congrats Cleveland, Stockton and Memphis... you officially suck more than Detroit.

More or Less Back in the Game (Maybe?)

Taking advantage of the weekend to try and post stuff. Currently in Ft Jackson, undergoing Paralegal training and learning to fill out paperwork that I hope I'm never on the other end of in my lifetime (UCMJ paperwork). Actually not that hard a course, but then again, combat engineer school wasn't that hard either, and it involved setting up explosive systems.

In other news, explosives are rarely issued to combat engineers in Iraq anymore. I cannot possibly think why.

Anyways:

Friday's Horrible Movie of the week

For this week, I chose something I like to call:



It's about a spaceship with two alien rug monsters crashing into rural California, causing death and destruction wherever a couple of guys under a rug can go.

Speaking of death and destruction,



Besides terrible writing and acting, it also has a runaway narrator who covers over missing dialogue audio, which happens, alot.

For the record, this is my favorite movie to see in an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000.

Breaking "Puppy Man" News in USF-Tampa lockdown

-According to new reports. Puppy Man had just came back from a hunting trip and had just chosen a bad moment and place to be really creepy.

-Also, the campus just got the all clear. I'll let ya'll know what is up when the the cops get done roughing the other guy for answers.

Breaking Weird Ass News

I'm sure everyone has heard about the USF-Tampa lockdown situation, and that a suspect has been arrested, but there has apparently been reports from USF students that the Campus's alert network has put out word to be on a lookout for another suspect:

"FWD: Tampa Campus- white male suspect seen in the Cooper Hall area in a black tank top, cowboy hat carrying large puppy and a large hunting knife- Officers enro(en route)"

I'm not making this up. As I'm typing, my roommate (from the Tampa metro area) is getting texts about it from everyone back home.

All I know is I'm praying for the puppy.

News You Can't Possibly Use

For a more efficient service, please alight at the next stop where a team of heavily drugged sloths will drag you to your destination.

Your panhandling permit, please?

1100 Pills of E? Check. 32 grams of coke? Check. Xanax, marijuana and crack? Check. Zero prison time because it was the judge's son? Check.

Senior citizens to get discounts at brothels to celebrate Seniors Week. Next week's followup: Sudden spike in heart attacks and strokes among Australian men aged over 60.

Much like their football team, Detroit's dead can't even afford to get buried with dignity.

Real estate company sues Steve McNair's widow for back rent on mistress' apartment.

Homeowner holds intruder at gunpoint. Cops respond to 911 call, shoot homeowner (still on phone with 911 operator) four times in the back, then twice more when he was on the ground. Bonus: 911 tape records cops planning the cover-up.